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Mama’s Kōrero
Healing is a taonga. It isn’t always pretty, but Melissa Te Kani says it can be. Over the next six months, she will take Tauranga woman on a rongoā journey of self-discovery.
Healing is a taonga. It isn’t always pretty, but Melissa Te Kani says it can be. Over the next six months, she will take Tauranga woman on a rongoā journey of self-discovery.
Melissa Te Kani knows first hand that a person’s choices, no matter what situation they find themselves in at any point of their life, does not limit their future.
The 40-year-old mum of three has found herself in some tough times over the years, and wants to help other women in Tauranga to understand they can find a positive way out.
“If you don’t get it right the first time, it’s okay,” Melissa says.
She is a mum, a coach and mentor, an art therapist, freelance creator, author, and wellbeing facilitator. She is also a founder of the new Mama’s Kōrero, which is what she describes as a healing journey for women that focuses on te ao Māori, identity, connection and a person’s environment.
“Everything we create comes off those values.
“It’s a rongoā [Māori healing system], that’s what Mama’s Kōrero is.”
Facilitated by Melissa, and her childhood friend Kandyss Hetaraka, Mama’s Kōrero is a space where women can openly talk about their experiences and be actively heard, without judgement or opinions - something she saw a need for in Tauranga.
The te ao Māori-inspired journey will begin mid-August, with no more than 25 women taking part. Over a six-month timeframe, Melissa says Mama’s Kōrero will take women through a journey of self-discovery that will include an element of art therapy, journaling, life coaching, body movement, guest speakers, interactive workshops, and “some reality checks”.
“We’ll have one kaupapa for two weeks, an overview on the third week. Every month there’ll be a new whare that we speak about,” she says.
Melissa says conversations will be had that may not be easy in a bid to help them navigate a new journey.
“Mama’s Kōrero will take women through a journey of self-discovery that will include an element of art therapy, journaling, life coaching, body movement, guest speakers, interactive workshops, and some reality checks.”
“It’s all about owning what your choices are.”
The aim, Melissa says, is for these women to challenge their current situations, look at their decisions and to take their mana back.
“They’re going to walk away with something - an identity of self, acceptance of everything.”
Mama’s Kōrero is an extension of who Melissa is and she says all of these have helped her in her own journey.
“I love life right now. Life for me is so good right now. My kids are happy, I’m happy.”
But this hasn’t always been the case for Melissa.
As a young woman, Melissa experienced domestic violence during a “narcissistic” relationship, and with that came isolation.
“I didn’t have anyone to support me.”
It was through this experience she discovered art therapy, which provided her with an outlet to unload her feelings at any time of the day or night. It allowed her to channel her energy into something creative.
Fast forward to recent times, through observance and conversations with others, she realised there were a lot of others in the community who were in the same place she was in many years ago.
“A lot of it is abuse. Physical, or mental, and financial abuse.”
Traditional therapy methods are not for everyone, Melissa says, and for Māori women it can be hard to open up to people who can’t relate to similar cultural and life experiences.
This is why Mama’s Kōrero was born, as a way to help women unpack their choices and show them how to deal with them better.
“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to your own.
“We’re perfectly imperfect.”
She has a tight circle of friends who all have their own gifts that add value to her life and others’ lives.
“My circle hasn’t changed in decades. They’ve been my safe space with Mama’s Kōrero and the journey I had to get there. They’ve seen me through it all.”
Melissa says it’s important for women to understand how they arrived in their current situation so they can move forward positively. She says she has been a solo mum all her life and understands the challenges that come with trying to heal while facing parenting responsibilities.
She says it’s important for women to know their current situation is just “a moment in your hīkoi” and while pain can be hurtful, the experiences can become your superpowers and healing serves a purpose.
“Healing is taonga. Healing isn’t always pretty, but it can be.”
Although there are some serious topics that will be discussed during the Mama’s Kōrero journey, she says it’s not all heavy.
Melissa moved to Tauranga three years ago and has loved being surrounded by the region’s natural resources, which she believes are also beneficial to a person’s wellbeing.
She and her children head to the beach each week to walk, take in the environment, and spend time together away from their everyday surroundings. Mama’s Kōrero will also embrace Tauranga’s natural surroundings.
Women who are joining Mama’s Kōrero have been referred, or have organically found them.
“We haven’t marketed it. They find us. If they’re meant to be here that’s why they are coming”.
This is how she wants to keep things for now, believing that those who find them are meant to be there.
Words by Kristin Macfarlane
Photography by Naera Ohia
