At the Heart of It

Sue Pollard just wants people’s final days to be the best
that they can possibly be.

Sue Pollard has spent the last 26 years with people who are dying and feels privileged to do so.
She finds hope, every single day, in encouraging people to keep doing what they love for as long
as they can. Sue is fulfilled knowing she’s a rock for many families who are grieving, struggling
and crumbling.

Sue is a nurse at Waipuna Hospice, where she’s been supporting people in the “final stage of
the game” since 1991, when hospice opened in Tauranga. “It was established on love. As nurses, we were motivated by love and relationships, rather than disease and medical procedures,” she says.

And the heart still pumps strong, more than two decades later. Sue sits with and talks to at least
10 people (and their families) a week, counselling them on a physical, social and spiritual level.
It’s not just older people who are dying. Sue supports children, teenagers and young mums and
dads, who are in the final stages of an incurable illness.

Sue is someone you would want by your side. She listens — really listens — and has a kind smile that instills hope, confidence and strength. It was these exact attributes that were pushed to the limits when her only daughter, Ruth, “the fit one of the family”, was diagnosed with a brain tumour at 35.

“Ruth was three-months pregnant when we found out. It was the biggest shock of our lives. She fought and lived for two years and was so happy to be a mummy for 22 months,” says Sue, who nursed her daughter in her final months of life, even sleeping alongside her to give Ruth’s husband Harley a break. “It was hard for Ruth having a ‘hospice mum’. She always admired everything I did but struggled as the recipient. I had to focus on being the mum, not the nurse.”

“My favourite people to nurse are teenagers and people in their early 20s.
I have huge respect for them. They’re gutsy and will do whatever it takes to live.”

Ruth, who was the events coordinator for Cure Kids in Auckland, always took care of the underdog, whether it was a homeless person or a friend in need. She was someone whose face “lit up a room”. She fought positively and continued running throughout her treatment.

“She told us she had to keep her legs strong to take care of her little girl, Abigail, who is three
now,” says Sue, who visits her granddaughter regularly in Auckland. “She made it so easy for
us to care for her because in her mind she wasn’t dying. When Ruth’s hair fell out after radiation,
her local hairdresser shaved diamonds into her head and she’d say, “I haven’t got rocks in my
head, I’ve got diamonds!”

Sue feels privileged and inspired to nurse thousands of patients in the last days, weeks and months
of their life. She’s joined by a small team of staff and 750 Waipuna Hospice volunteers dedicated to 24-hour medical care and holistic support for people, either at home or on-site in Te Puna.

At an event a few years ago, a 19-year-old patient, an artist, was given a can of spray paint, and
told to ‘go for it’. Despite having little energy, he spent a few hours painting large works of art on paper. More recently, a young dying woman took her son and her Dad on a cruise, then drove
her Mum around Melbourne for a girl’s week, despite being very unwell.

“I believe in respecting a person’s wishes for how they want to live their lives to the end. If that
means they want to go on an adventure when they shouldn’t, we encourage them to do what’s
safe but understand that taking a risk will give them quality of life,” says Sue.

Everyone copes with death differently and many Waipuna Hospice patients are understandably vulnerable and grieving. Some “don’t want a bar” of Sue’s support. “I look to make a breakthrough with someone like that and gain their trust,” she explains. “We don’t always get it right. Not
everyone is going to like me. Someone can take something the wrong way, it’s not their fault,
they’re vulnerable. I saw it with my own daughter when people said things that weren’t in line with
her fight to be positive.”

Sue’s biggest piece of advice? If a friend or family member is dying — be there, no matter what. “Many young people are afraid and withdraw from the friend who is dying. The suffering person desperately needs your friendship. Don’t run from the pain you’re facing because you can’t cope
with their pain,” she says. “The distraction of mates is wonderful. Pretend nothing’s happened and be there for them as you would’ve always been. If you’re struggling, be honest about it, share your pain.”

Suffering the heartbreak of losing her daughter has enabled Sue to empathise even more with her patients. “You always have to be professional and yet there are times when you are able to share
your heart. When I was losing Ruth I had a couple of patients, both with brain tumours and of a similar age to my daughter. I could talk to their mums on a personal level. We could compare notes and share our pain, which benefited us all,” says Sue.

Waipuna Hospice has grown from a handful of volunteers to a large, thriving organisation that
has to raise close to $3 million per year to care for thousands of people and their families from
Waihi Beach to Paengaroa.

“Without the five charity shops, donations and volunteers, we’d be down the gurgler. People come and garden, write biographies or sit with patients,” says Sue. “Everyone who works here is an integral part. It’s like jigsaw puzzle pieces coming together to make a beautiful picture.”

‍

Like to be part of the puzzle? Here’s how you can help...

→ Buy from the Waipuna Hospice charity shops or volunteer to work in one

→ Follow on Facebook @WaipunaHospice

→ Drive people to and from appointments or help with meals

→ Play an instrument or sing for patients at the Day Programme held weekly
at the hospice in Te Puna

→ Find out more or make a donation on their website

‍

Story by Sarah Bunker

Photography by Richard Robinson

First published in issue 1 of Our Place magazine.